WomenCo.

Why Dad's Drink 

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'



With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.



Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Susan and she is so nice.  But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Dad she's pregnant.



Susan said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Susan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.



In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Susan can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad.  I'm 15 now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.



Love, your son John



PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card that's in my center desk drawer.



I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home

AngelaK says ...

Jean,

Keep the laughs coming! This one is cute.

Thanks Angela, I'm glad you liked it. 

Elorraine says ...

A mother and her toddler daughter were in a bank line one day.  The toddler decided  to release some pent-up energy and run amock. The mother finally grabed  a hold of the child after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. She told the toddler that if she did not start behaving at that moment she would be punished.  To the mother's amazemnt the toddler looked her straight n the eye  and in just as threatening voice retorted, " If you don't let me go right now, I will tell grandma that I saw you kissing daddy's pee-pee last night."

The silence was defening after that exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. The mother mustered  up the last of her dignity and walked out of the bank with her daughter in tow.  The last thing she heard as the door closed  behind her , were screams of laughter.

MORTIFYING! Too funny Elorraine...too funny.